i'm willing to take my chances

Blocked against Jessica;

In my defense, I was not nearly so lovable at age ten as I am now.

Okay, so, I've finally figured out what Felicity's problem with me is. And by 'finally figured out', I mean she screamed it at me through a closed door when I cornered her in the one place from which there is no escape - especially when you pilfer all the toilet paper before your victim goes in there. But these drastic measures were necessary, I swear, because she was annoying the hell out of me.

Anyway, I thought the name Felicity Kane sounded familiar and I was apparently right because I had a girlfriend by that name when I was in fourth grade who I may or may not have broken up with by moving without telling her and then not returning any of her phone calls or emails.

I said I wasn't lovable when I was ten, okay? Let's not dwell on the past like some people and focus on the present. The present is... you guys know Jessica. How do I break it to her gently that I'm living in an apartment with my ex-girlfriend? I don't want anyone's ovaries getting ripped out.

End Private;

San Diego missed me and I missed it, too. It's so sunny all the time. I had to invest in a pair of sunglasses (of average size, not like those giant face-blockers Sam and June like to wear) just so I could get used to seeing. Forks seems like a bigger rainy wasteland than I remember.

My roommate's a turd. Okay, okay, his name's Tony and we're sharing this apartment with his girlfriend and another anonymous freshman girl who keeps looking at me funny, but I'm calling him Turd. I'm pretty sure he's keeping pot in the bathroom. Of course, if this is the Tony Hunter I remember, who wanted to open his own vineyard so he could be drunk 24/7, then I'm definitely sure he's keeping pot in the bathroom.

If I feign ignorance of this, will I still get arrested as an accomplice?

The womenfolk are Jayne (the girlfriend, who looked like this tiny little blond thing until she whipped out her PS2 and kicked my ass at Guitar Hero and Tekken) and Felicity (the other one with the black hair and the shifty eyes).

I'm not sure, but I think Felicity might be hitting on me. We had to pair up to go hiking for orientation and she glued herself to my side so fast it was like my arm had suddenly gained 110-pounds. I've had to inform her like twelve times that I have a girlfriend, but she just glowers at me and then cuts off the circulation to my fingers. Turd says he knows exactly what is going on here, but if I'm too retarded to figure it out then that's my problem. Where have I heard that before?

Private to Sam;

O'Brine, you're a girl. How unfair is it to inform someone that you want to date them and then leave the state afterward? And how badly does that reflect on the initial statement? This is all hypothetical, of course, though this conversation is not something you should go broadcasting on the Girl Wide Web or whatever it is you girls use to keep one another constantly in the loop about everything that ever goes on ever.

End Private;

My Dad got a new combination lock for the liquor cabinet. I think he marks his bottles in invisible ink or something. I've tried his birthday, Mom's birthday, my birthday, and the first few digits of all our phone numbers to no avail. I told you guys to bring stuff, right? Because that's become even more important. My parents are going out of their way to make sure there is no alcohol consumption at this party. Don't let them win.

In other news, I finally started packing. I never realized how much crap I had until now. And why do I have so many clothes when I sometimes go days without changing my shirt? It's a mystery.

Ask and you shall receive. I heard you all clamoring for a party, right? So here's your official invitation:


MIKE NEWTON'S HUGEASS PARTING PARTY BLOWOUT BASH (BRING YOUR OWN KLEENEX)

It's going to be held at my house in a week (that's August 30, for those who don't want to do the math) because that's when my parents are going as far away from the place as humanly possible just as long as I promise not to drink too much or have any girls flash me for Mardi Gras beads. As if I would. Mardi Gras was over five months ago.

In the meantime, my days working at Dad's store are winding to a close and he hasn't been paying me all summer. I think he's combining my paychecks and getting me a computer in addition to the surfboard he gave me for graduation. I can hear the waves of the California beaches calling my name. I have no idea what I'm going to do with the laptop. I mean, besides my homework. I guess.

There are days when outside your window, I see my reflection as I slowly pass
And I long for this mirrored perspective when we'll be lovers, lovers at last.
You reject my advances and desperate plea. I won't let you let me down so easily. So easily
You gotta spend some time, love. You gotta spend some time with me,
and I know that you'll find love, I will possess your heart.


( I will possess your heart. )